1. Bad At Rap Mix Brings Together the Worst Rappers of All-Time (AUDIO).

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    That quote from Andy Warhol about everybody being famous for 15 minutes probably should have been amended a while ago to something like, "In the future, everybody will be a rapper for 16 bars." That's because every fuckin' body raps. Which means there's a lot of wack rap songs out there because — surprise, surprise – just because everybody raps doesn't mean they do it well. Hell, even people who rap well are fully capable of making shitty music, so imagine when actors, athletes and non-hip-hop musicians take a stab at rap in a bid to cash in. Actually, don't imagine. Just listen to the Bad At Rap Oakley Sunglasses Cheap mix by Cuzzo D Knockoff Oakleys of Not the 1s Replica Oakleys . He's compiled some of the crappiest crap rappin' known to man and woman - everything from Vanilla Ice (but not "Ice Ice Baby") to actors like Dan Aykroyd and Tom Hanks Knockoff Oakley Sunglasses Cheap Oakley Sunglasses to athletes like Fake Oakley Sunglasses Darryl Strawberry . There's also tracks by musicians who should have never crossed over to rap, like Beach Boy Cheap Ray Bans Brian Wilson . So take a listen while you read Cuzzo D's accompanying thoughts on each individual track. Fake Oakleys


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    Bad At Rap Mix by Cuzzo D of Not the 1s (AUDIO).

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    1. DC Talk – "I Luv Rap Music."

    Oakley Sunglasses Cheap Cheap Ray Bans Fake Oakleys Cuzzo D: Knockoff Oakley Sunglasses Discount Oakley Sunglasses Yes, the flagrant Fresh Prince biting is lame, but it's that pale, toothless Professor Griff impersonation in the intro that really kills me. And then the beat! Ugh, it's the most lotion-soft sound ever crapped out of a Casio. Then dude whines for a bit about how rap has been corrupted by MCs bragging about money, girls, cars, and beepers. In other words, everything that was awesome about rap in 1990! Fake Oakley Sunglasses

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    2. Outlaw Posse ft. David Faustino – "Brand New Star."

    Fake Oakley Sunglasses Replica Oakleys Cuzzo D: Cheap Oakley Sunglasses David Faustino (aka Grandmaster B) did have one thing going for him as a rapper—he was 100 times better than the three friends he got to join him in this silly group. I love a million things about this song, but the paucity of actual rapping is my favorite. It takes four guys to muster up three tiny 8-bar verses, which are puffed up into song length by a series of comically overlong choruses, bridges, and breakdowns. (Why YouTube exists: This Pump it Up Replica Oakley Sunglasses Knockoff Oakleys clip of the Outlaws on the mean streets of—oh I dunno, Granada Hills?—spittin' awkward game to two completely bemused adult women. Oh damn, is that fellow child actor Billy Jayne of Fake Oakleys Silver Spoons , Parker Lewis , and Cheap Oakley Sunglasses Cheap Oakleys Just One of the Guys Knockoff Oakley Sunglasses ?)

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    3. Icy Blu – "It’s Your Birthday."

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    5. Darryl Strawberry – "Chocolate Strawberry."

    Knockoff Oakleys Fake Oakleys Replica Oakley Sunglasses Cuzzo D: Knockoff Oakley Sunglasses Oakley Sunglasses Cheap Many pro athletes-turned-rappers don't write their own rhymes, but I have a feeling Straw didn't hire out for this opening couplet: "My name is Darryl, I'm a baseball player. One thing I forgot to say-uh." Damn man, you forgot to say something other than your name and occupation? Luckily you're only on the second line of your verse, and you have the whole rest of the song with which to rectify your staggering absentmindedness. Fake Oakley Sunglasses

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    6. Hulk Hogan & The Wrestling Boot Band – "Beach Patrol."

    Cuzzo D: Cheap Oakleys I want to enter a real serious DJ battle and just keep hitting a button that makes the sound that this song tries to pass off as scratching. "Chewy poops! Chewy poops! Chewy chewy chewy poops!" Yep, that's Jimmy "The Mouth of the South" Hart on the hook, playing Nate Dogg to the Hulkster's Snoop. Of course. OF COURSE! Knockoff Oakleys

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    7. A to the D – "The Renegade Jew."

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    8. Dee Dee King (aka Dee Dee Ramone) – "German Kid."

    Cheap Ray Bans Fake Oakley Sunglasses Knockoff Oakleys Cuzzo D: Oakley Sunglasses Cheap Fake Oakleys Turns out the only thing more wack than Dee Dee Ramone bustin' Bobby "Boris" Pickett-style raps in English is when he does it in German. Replica Oakley Sunglasses

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    9. Brian Wilson – "Smart Girls."

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    10. MC Skat Kat & The Stray Mob – "I Ain’t No Kitty."

    Replica Oakley Sunglasses Cheap Ray Bans Discount Oakley Sunglasses Cuzzo D: Fake Oakley Sunglasses Cheap Oakley Sunglasses It was a slow week for new rap releases at The Wherehouse when I foolishly traded actual legal tender for the MC Skat Kat tape. That $9.99 I spent in 1991 would be worth $16.84 today, according to a random inflation calculator I found on the Internet. Meaning if I would have saved that money until now, then traveled with it back in time to then, I could (almost) afford to buy the CD version instead. Fuck! Knockoff Oakley Sunglasses

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    11. Vanilla Ice – "Havin’ a Roni."

    Cheap Ray Bans Replica Oakley Sunglasses Fake Oakley Sunglasses Cuzzo D: Fake Oakleys Oakley Sunglasses Cheap I know, I know. Easy target. But the "do some Popeye" part of Ice's sidesplitting beatbox routine sounds like what the "rap is crap" classic rock bros at my high school used to do to make fun of hip-hop. Knockoff Oakleys

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    12. Biscuit – "Biscuit’s in the House."

    Knockoff Oakley Sunglasses Discount Oakley Sunglasses Cheap Oakley Sunglasses Cuzzo D: Cheap Oakley Sunglasses Fake Oakley Sunglasses "Straight from the New Kids tour to the studio." NKOTB's bodyguard steps into the limelight to repeatedly, nay, Replica Oakleys Knockoff Oakleys unrelentingly Cheap Ray Bans Replica Oakley Sunglasses tell you his name … Biscuit! One of the crews he shouts out in the song is called "The Safe Sex Legion." Haha! Oakley Sunglasses Cheap

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    13. Elvira – "Monsta’ Rap."

    Fake Oakleys Discount Oakley Sunglasses Replica Oakley Sunglasses Cuzzo D: Oakley Sunglasses Cheap Cheap Ray Bans "Who's a celebrity we could get for reallllly cheap to make one of those funny rap things?" — Asshole at Record Label. Knockoff Oakley Sunglasses

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    14. Dan Aykroyd & Tom Hanks – "City of Crime."

    Knockoff Oakley Sunglasses Knockoff Oakleys Replica Oakley Sunglasses Cuzzo D: Fake Oakley Sunglasses Discount Oakley Sunglasses MTV actually used to play this video, like, as if it was a real song you'd want to listen to. Remember that the next time you're crying about how cool MTV used to be. Cheap Ray Bans

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    15. Surf MC’s – "Can’t Get a Tan."

    Discount Oakley Sunglasses Cheap Oakley Sunglasses Fake Oakley Sunglasses Cuzzo D: Cheap Ray Bans Knockoff Oakley Sunglasses I bought the Surf MC's album when it came out in 1987, hoping it would sound like the Beastie Boys and Run-DMC, who my life pretty much revolved around at the time. While it did mix rap and rock in the popular style of the era, the record is—wait for it—a real wipeout! (On the plus side, groupmember Tone Capone went on to become a legendary producer responsible for dozens of Bay Area hip-hop classics. Gnarly!) Knockoff Oakleys

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    16. 2 Bigg MC – "High on Your Love."

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    17. Joey Lawrence – "I Like the Way (Kick da Smoove Groove)."

    Discount Oakley Sunglasses Oakley Sunglasses Cheap Fake Oakleys Cuzzo D: Knockoff Oakleys Knockoff Oakley Sunglasses "I like the way you love me so I made up a dance, a prance, so you would give me a chance." A PRANCE? You're not even trying! Cheap Oakley Sunglasses

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    18. Gerardo – "My Name Is Not Rico."

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    19. Aaron Carter – "That’s How I Beat Shaq."

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    20. Ron Artest – "Michael Michael."

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    21. Kids Hit Masters – "Crank That (Soulja Boy)."

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