1. What Would Carlos Do? Charlie Sheen vs. Carlos Estevez

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    Perhaps you’ve heard of Charlie Sheen. The actor/rebel to America, has led a life most men would kill (or at least maim) for. A millionaire, (reformed) hardcore recreational drug enthusiast, and sugar daddy to more porn stars than you can shake a dildo at, the dude has been livin' the trife life for a hot minute. And the best part about it: no shame in his game.

    But what would The Most Talked About Man of the Moment’s life have been like had he made one simple but important decision years ago: if, like his bros Emilio and Ramon (as well as his sis Renée), had embraced his birth name of Carlos Estevez instead of his stage name Charlie Sheen? Peep our timeline as ego trip investigates how things might have been different…

    Charlie Sheen vs. Carlos Estevez

    1986
    CHARLIE SHEEN: Becomes a legitimate Hollywood star in the lead role of Oliver Stone's celebrated Vietnam drama, Platoon .

    CARLOS ESTEVEZ: Cast as an extra, his character is killed in the first five minutes of the film.

     

    1987
    CHARLIE SHEEN: Continues working relationship with Stone, stars in the iconic Wall Street .

    CARLOS ESTEVEZ: Reads for the lead role, but instead of being cast as a hot shot stockbroker, he gets role as office janitor. His scene gets left on the cutting room floor in an industry practice known as "snip the Spic." Que triste .

     

    1989
    CHARLIE SHEEN: Scores another popular movie, this time portraying four-eyed relief pitcher and wild man Ricky Vaughn in the baseball comedy, Major League .

    CARLOS ESTEVEZ: Beisbol is berry berry good to Carlos (as it is to a lot of other Latinos, see MLB) when he lands supporting role of voodoo-lovin' Cuban refugee power hitter Pedro Cerrano... in brown face.

     

    1990
    CHARLIE SHEEN: Gun left in pocket falls out when fiancée Kelly Preston lifts Charlie's pants from bathroom floor. The .22 accidentally shoots the actress in the arm (or leg, depending on which story you read). No charges are filed, but Preston ends relationship with Sheen.

    CARLOS ESTEVEZ: Arrested on attempted murder charges and a year-long trial (broadcast on television, simulcast in Spanish) begins.

     

    1995
    CHARLIE SHEEN: Admits during the tax evasion trial of Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss to spending over $50,000 on escorts.

    CARLOS ESTEVEZ: Pretends not to understand English when asked under oath about paying for prostitutes.

     

    1996
    CHARLIE SHEEN: Allegedly beats his porn star girlfriend. Sheen pleads no-contest to the charges and is sentenced to a one-year suspended prison term and two years of probation.

    CARLOS ESTEVEZ: Does a two-year bid.

     




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