He taught us to slur "bitch" in a way that's (dare say) downright fun and told us the fatal tale about a female named Blow Job Betty. He teamed up with Ice Cube just to let you hookers and hoes know how he feels ("bitch ain't nothin' but a word to me") and has even offered up much-needed mack etiquette ("never talk down on a player's name").
Yes, when it comes to pimpin' on wax, Too $hort is the mack of two centuries. Decades in the game, Mr. Todd Shaw, the ice-cold, hard-ass product of the mean streets of East Oakland, CA (where the youngsters get hyphy) is best known for his gentleman of leisure mantras. But lest we forget, $hort Dog doesn't just spit game about pimpin'. OK, he does it a hella lot, but in his deep catalog of funk, he's got plenty wordz of wizdom for dat azz.
So in celebration of Black History Month, ego trip presents Too $hort's Most Positive Rap Lyrics ...
CLICK THE THUMBNAILS ABOVE
Too $hort — “In The Trunk” (Dangerous/Jive, 1992)
A warning shot to fake-ass rappers (and a response to East Coast playa hataz), this bumpin' ditty is more-or-less a manual on how NOT to fall off. The lesson: Be real.
Best Moment: "And if I ego trip and my head is fucked/ I take my ass back to where I grew up/ And get real, boy, it's never too late/ Before I do like you and make a weak-ass tape."
(Image: Rap Music Guide)
Too $hort — “Don’t Ever Give Up” (Jive, 2001)
The title alone should tell you what's up. $hort goes all Tony Robbins on this track with winning results.
Best Moment: "You better make the most of it, live to the fullest / Think positive and don't dwell on the bullshit/ I can't tell you no better/ If you thinkin' 'bout quittin', don't ever."
Too $hort — “Short But Funky” (Jive, 1990)
Self aware, $hort breaks down the secret of his success (listening to his mama helped) and vows never to sell out, an admirable trait we should all aspire to.
Best Moment: " But there's a serious side in everything I say/ Life is too short for you to wait til the next day/ Straighten up your life and you can start right here/ Drop the cocaine and the bottles of beer/ People always say it ain't right to preach/ But take my advice: get wise and reach for the sky/ So you can live like a king, homie/ And I'm a stay Short but funky."
(Props to homhom for the upload)
Ant Banks ft. Too $hort — “The Loot” (Jive, 1994)
Business consultant Todd Shaw offers financial advice that you can't get from Wall St.
Best Moment: "Now kick back while I tell you about makin' the loot/ Get in where ya fit if you makin' it fast/ 'Cause a real motherfucker might check yo' ass/ And take all your loot, kick down your door/ The word got around you's a bitch-ass ho/ Hangin' wit' them same ass niggaz that owe you cash/ That won't pay yo' ass/ And niggaz just owe you for life/ Be all in your face every day and night/ If you would have broke their ass off years ago/ For fucking up all those counts of dough/ You wouldn't be a broke-ass nigga today."
Too $hort — “Life Is… Too Short” (Dangerous Music, 1989)
You know when people say "real talk"? This song is all about real talk. Simple and to the point: You never know when you're gonna go.
Best Moment(s): "It's on you, homeboy, what ya gonna do?/ You can take my advice and start workin', fool/ Or you can close your ears and run your mouth/ And one day, homeboy, you'll soon find out/ Life is... too short." AND "Because if a dream is all you got, homeboy/ You got to turn that dream into the real McCoy."
(Props to Jordan for the upload)
Too $hort — “Girl (Cocaine) That’s Your Life” (75 Girls, 1985)
Starting with one of the most underrated lines of all-time ("I come from the City of Dope/ It couldn't be saved by John The Pope"), Too $hort takes on the role of street reporter and delivers a chilling portrait of what happens when you sniff too much of that Snow White.
Best Moment: The whole damn song, but this'll do: "I know you know what coke can do/ Come into your life and take over you/ Now you kickin' back, thinkin' 'bout your dream/ But it never comes true 'cause you're just a coke fiend."
(Props to McZRock for the upload)
Too $hort — “Divide And Conquer” (1999)
$hort on the stress of street life and black-on-black violence, posing tough questions to the drug dealers in the 'hood.
Best Moment: "Now what happened is no big mystery/ Homeboy, you need to know your history/ It's too bad, 'cause when we got the crack/ It put money in the 'hood, but did you ever give it back?"
(Props to T. Biggs for the upload)
Too $hort — “The Ghetto” (Jive, 1990)
One of his biggest hits, this silky-smooth superhits-from-the-'70s-type public service announcement takes a hard look at the problems of poor communities, criticizing everyone from the fiends, dealers, OPD, and The Mayor and comments on racial identity (basically, be proud of who you are, dammit).
Best Moment: "Even though some people give you no respect/ Be intelligent when you put 'em in check/ 'Cause when you're ignorant, you get treated that way/ And when they throw you in jail, you got nothin' to say."
Too $hort — “Gettin’ It” (Jive, 1996)
So Todd's a philosopher? Yes, he thinks very deeply.
Best Moment: "Stop lookin' for what you never seem to find/ It ain't what you think, you got to read between the lines."
New Edition ft. Too $hort – “One Love” (Bungalo, 2005)
New Edition is along for the ride as $hort kicks some of his best lyrics and flow.
Best Moment: "Caught up in a crack trap/ Flippin' that fat sack/ Lost another life, can't never get that back/ Kids growin' up, destined to fail/ What happens after murder? One dead, one in jail." AND "It might never happen/ It's all up to you/ I'm a break it down so we know what to do/ You got to teach the lil' kids to get as much as they can/ Lend a helping hand and don't hate your brother man."
Luniz ft. Too $hort — “Funkin’ Over Nuthin’” (Noo Trybe, 1997)
After signing a peace treaty with the Luniz, Todd reminds you to always mind yo' business.
Best Moment: "Hundred thousand units make a nigga half a million dollars/ If you sittin' on a grip, I have to holler at ya later/ You can get rich in a minute/ Two words: Distribution, Independent."
Too $hort & Pimp C — “All About It” ($hort Records, 1998)
With help from UGK's Pimp C (R.I.P.), $hort addresses the rap nation in real terms.
Best Moment: "Folks got to learn to be together 'cause we are all on the same journey/ So as I roll, I'm a look out for ya/ If I see you doin' wrong, I'm a take my time to show ya/ How to get it right, make money every night / You got to use your brain if you want to win the fight."
(Props to David Flint for the upload)