Too $hort’s Most Positive Raps

He taught us to slur “bitch” in a way that’s (dare say) downright fun and told us the fatal tale about a female named Blow Job Betty. He teamed up with Ice Cube just to let you hookers and hoes know how he feels (“bitch ain’t nothin’ but a word to me”) and has even offered up much-needed mack etiquette (“never talk down on a player’s name”).

Yes, when it comes to pimpin’ on wax, Too $hort is the mack of two centuries. Decades in the game, Mr. Todd Shaw, the ice-cold, hard-ass product of the mean streets of East Oakland, CA (where the youngsters get hyphy) is best known for his gentleman of leisure mantras. But lest we forget, $hort Dog doesn’t just spit game about pimpin’. OK, he does it a hella lot, but in his deep catalog of funk, he’s got plenty wordz of wizdom for dat azz.

So in celebration of Black History Month, ego trip presents Too $hort’s Most Positive Rap Lyrics…

“In The Trunk”

A warning shot to fake-ass rappers (and a response to East Coast playa hataz), this bumpin’ ditty is more-or-less a manual on how NOT to fall off. The lesson: Be real.

Best Moment: “And if I ego trip and my head is fucked/ I take my ass back to where I grew up/ And get real, boy, it’s never too late/ Before I do like you and make a weak-ass tape.”

“Don’t Give Up”

The title alone should tell you what’s up. $hort goes all Tony Robbins on this track with winning results.

Best Moment: “You better make the most of it, live to the fullest / Think positive and don’t dwell on the bullshit/ I can’t tell you no better/ If you thinkin’ ’bout quittin’, don’t ever.”

“Short But Funky”

Self aware, $hort breaks down the secret of his success (listening to his mama helped) and vows never to sell out, an admirable trait we should all aspire to.

Best Moment: “But there’s a serious side in everything I say/ Life is too short for you to wait til the next day/ Straighten up your life and you can start right here/ Drop the cocaine and the bottles of beer/ People always say it ain’t right to preach/ But take my advice: get wise and reach for the sky/ So you can live like a king, homie/ And I’m a stay Short but funky.”

“The Loot”

Business consultant Todd Shaw offers financial advice that you can’t get from Wall St.

Best Moment: “Now kick back while I tell you about makin’ the loot/ Get in where ya fit if you makin’ it fast/ ‘Cause a real motherfucker might check yo’ ass/ And take all your loot, kick down your door/ The word got around you’s a bitch-ass ho/ Hangin’ wit’ them same ass niggaz that owe you cash/ That won’t pay yo’ ass/ And niggaz just owe you for life/ Be all in your face every day and night/ If you would have broke their ass off years ago/ For fucking up all those counts of dough/ You wouldn’t be a broke-ass nigga today.”

“Life Is… Too Short.”

You know when people say “real talk”? This song is all about real talk. Simple and to the point: You never know when you’re gonna go.

Best Moment(s): “It’s on you, homeboy, what ya gonna do?/ You can take my advice and start workin’, fool/ Or you can close your ears and run your mouth/ And one day, homeboy, you’ll soon find out/ Life is… too short.” AND “Because if a dream is all you got, homeboy/ You got to turn that dream into the real McCoy.”

“Girl (Cocaine) That’s Your Life”

Starting with one of the most underrated lines of all-time (“I come from the City of Dope/ It couldn’t be saved by John The Pope”), Too $hort takes on the role of street reporter and delivers a chilling portrait of what happens when you sniff too much of that Snow White.

Best Moment: The whole damn song, but this’ll do: “I know you know what coke can do/ Come into your life and take over you/ Now you kickin’ back, thinkin’ ’bout your dream/ But it never comes true ’cause you’re just a coke fiend.”

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