1. BREAKING! Crowds Lining Up Worldwide In Anticipation of Janye’s “Throne-mageddon.”

    WILLOUGHBY, OH – As the countdown to #JanyeDay this Monday 8.8.11 continues reports are pouring in from around the world of people already forming lines at any and all available computers , hoping to have first dibs on the most anticipated luxury rap listening experience of all-time, Jay-Z and Kanye West’s Watch The Throne , a/k/a #TheAlbumThatWillChangeTheWorld. “I’d be taking sick days from work if I had a job,” says Ernesto Williams, a former management analyst who no longer owns a computer, but plans to spend the next 48 hours camped outside his local Kinko’s. “Fortunately, since I’ve been unemployed for over two years it’s not an issue. I can’t believe how lucky I am.

    “If WTT is as great as I expect it to be,” he continues, “then I’ll be bed ridden for a few days. Adjusting your swag levels to ‘high’ via osmosis can really take a lot out of you.”

    You’re not alone, E-Will. Witness images of the frenzy WTT is causing across the globe as the big day grows closer…


    Colombo, Sri Lanka: Police subdue overeager “Throne-ies” cutting in line for a piece of the Throne.

    Kandahar, Afghanistan: A group of several hundred women assemble in the shape of the Roc-A-Fella diamond in homage to Jay-Z and Kanye’s roots.

    Antarctica: Anticipation for The Throne has crossed species lines.

    Pittsburgh, PA: You don’t have to be part of the walking dead to hunger for The Throne. But it helps.

    Scientists in Toronto project the view inside your brain before downloading WTT on 8.8.11…

    … and the view after.

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