Wiz Khalifa caused quite a stir with the fur when his album cover for o.n.i.f.c. (Only Ninjas in Furs Club) was leaked earlier this week. But we don’t see the big deal about The Wiz’s wardrobe choice. He surely ain’t the first rapper to rock the plush taxidermy on his person. Pimps adore furs, so it only makes sense that rappers worship them too. Rappers and furs go together like Romney and white privilege. In fact, finding a photo of a rapper not wearing a fur is damn near impossible. (We dare you to Google that.) And we get the whole fur thang , OK? It’s pretty damn obvious that nothing screams success like dead rodents draped on yo’ shoulders.
So we racked our collective brains to come up with a countdown of selected emcees wearing furs and then we invited “PETA’s worst nightmare” (cotdamn, if that’s not the coldest title in all of the rap animal kingdom), none other than muthafuckin’ Chief Chinchilla , J-Zone’s main man, to weigh in on the fashions. Mr. Blackwell, hold your head. (You too, Mr Waka Flocka Flame …)
1. Wiz Khalifa, as seen on the cover of o.n.i.f.c.
Chief Chinchilla: I’ll never smoke no weed again if this is what happens.
ego trip: Little known fact: The featured “fur” isn’t a fur at all, but the latest in 3-D tattoo technology. But really. Everyone yappin’ ’bout the fur, but can the Evil Knievel pants get any love, yo?
2. Cam'Ron (Perhaps Celebrating Pink Friday)
Chief Chinchilla: The fur isn’t as egregious as that ratchety-ass pool in his backyard. Yeah, Giles, I saw that 50 Cent diss video .
ego trip: No truth whatsoever to the rumor that that’s not actually a hood on that coat, but very sad bunny ears.
3. Ghostface Killah, as seen in the video for "Cherchez La Ghost." (2000)
Chief Chinchilla: An Ecto-Cooler green mink / leather mash up? He definitely bought that from V.I.M.
ego trip: Wish GZA had rocked one of these outfits just so we could have used the phrase, “Genius In Furs.” Thanks for nothin’, Wu-Tang.
4. Nas and Puff Daddy, as seen in the video for "Hate Me Now." (1999)
Chief Chinchilla: This song was a fucking abomination. Wear Capris for all I care – oh what dreck it was musically.
ego trip: Obviously, the club in this video was exceptionally cold and bright – hence the winning combo of furry animal hide and sunglasses. P.S. Life is good, except for the poor mink ghosts who had to suffer through this hellish song and video in the afterlife.
5. Rick Ross, as seen on the cover of The Source (2011).
Chief Chinchilla: I used to tell my mama Big Bird was a Negro, but she swore he didn’t have black features. I’ve clearly proven her wrong.
ego trip: Let’s start with the positive. We luh this color on the Bawse. ¡Calor! On the other hand, yeah, he looks like the world’s saddest marshmallow Peep™ . Must be all that (nose) candy he pushin’.
6. Snoop Dogg, as seen on a typical morning.
Chief Chinchilla: That Willie Dynamite hand-me-down surely contains asbestos. Call OSHA immediately.
ego trip: Snoop Furry Fur. Furrystyle. Tha Furfather. Top Fur.
7. Fat Joe, as seen in the video for "We Thuggin'" (2001)
Chief Chinchilla: Is this the same guy who rapped, ‘I’ll stick a knife up your ass like American Me’ on his first album? Now he’s poolside? In a UNC Tarheel fur? I can’t take this guy seriously.
ego trip: In this video, Joe falls into the pool with the fur on. The guy whose job it was to clean the pool afterwards must have been heated.
8. Busta Rhymes.
Chief Chinchilla: It’s just another case of that ole P(E)TA. Busta don’t love them Cheetahs.
ego trip: Bussa Buss is obviously ice grilling the stylist on this shoot. Maybe it’s because the fur collar looks like it’s made out of Alf?
9. French Montana.
Chief Chinchilla: Colossal fail. You don’t drink liquor out of a plastic Solo cup when you have a mink on. People living in both France and Montana should file class action lawsuits against this nigga for character defamation.
ego trip: The French have so much style. (By the way, someone tell Fabolous, fur makes his face look chubby.)
10. J-Zone, as seen on the cover of A Job Ain't Nuthin But Work. (2004)
Chief Chinchilla: That’s somebody’s mama’s coat. Look at how young the sleeves are on that nigga.
ego trip: Alternate Title: Beach Betta Have My Money.
11. Pimp C.
Chief Chinchilla: Incredible. PETA’s worst nightmare. What a brilliant assembly of previously living materials. That hat may still have a heartbeat and high cholesterol. R.I.P. Pimp C – the mack of all rap macks.
ego trip: Bow down to a playa that’s greater than you!
12. Big Boi, from the cover of Outkast's Speakerboxx. (2003)
Chief Chinchilla: A pimp’s remix of the Black Power Movement. I’m diggin’ that.
ego trip: Revolutionary but gangsta.
13. Andre 3000, as seen in The Source (2002).
Chief Chinchilla: I give up.
ego trip: Tiger-style? Zebra-head? Suntanama? Fantabulous!