1. Rap Review Haikus: “Watch The Throne” Edition.

    Watch The Throne has come
    We exhale and write haikus
    Read them after jump

    “No Church In the Wild”
    Decadence is fun
    Strippers, cocaine, and The Dream
    Cheer up, Frank Ocean

    “Lift Off”
    Cool new TV theme
    For a show not yet greenlit
    Call it: Space Ninjas

    “N*ggas In Paris”
    Now gives way to “N.I.P.”
    Compton is burning

    Otis is decent
    Still, can’t be bothered with it
    So three weeks ago

    “Gotta Have It”
    Jay-Z says, “planking”
    And gives driving directions
    He is just like us

    “New Day”
    Just what we wanted
    Autotune meets RZA track
    Our dreams now fulfilled

    “That’s My Bitch”
    “Apache” sample
    Nas thinks this trumps “Made You Look”
    Of course, he is wrong

    “Welcome to the Jungle”
    Swizz Beats sings so sweet
    Like Hootie and the Blow Fish
    Only less gully

    “Who Gon Stop Me”
    Some friends of Janye
    Won’t like the “holocaust” line
    Shoulda stopped themselves

    “Murder to Excellence”
    “Black” should not mean “bad”
    The Throne gives us examples
    Rich people are smart

    “Made In America”
    Kanye is bar none
    Greatest metrosexual
    In hip-hop ever

    “Why I Love You”
    You will love this song
    If you think folks hate your guts
    They probably do

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