Yesterday the masters of the universe - excuse us, masters of publicity - Kanye West and Jay-Z yet again teased the thirsty masses with "Otis," another drop from their upcoming magnum-dopus Watch The Throne . We'll spare you the details of our forthcoming review (read it as part of Complex's What's the Consensus survey here ). What we really, really realized is that the damn song is rich. Filthy rich. Filthy stinkin' rich.
How rich is "Otis"? "Otis" is SO rich...
1. The only way we can afford to listen to this song is if we exploit small children in foreign countries.
2. We have to check in at the gate and get buzzed in before we listen.
3. We can't afford cable bill this month. Might have to pawn this download.
4. We got the CD single. It's made of blood diamonds.
5. Those of us making less than a milli a year might find Watching the Other Throne more entertaining.
6. Might have to coin new term: "FORT KNOX RAP."
7. Have to contact Lloyd's of London each time we push the play button.
8. Olsen Twins planning entire Karaoke Night around this song.
9. Lyrics come with a luxury tax. Ka-ching, ninjas!
10. It's richer than the Chocolate Oreo Mudslide at The Cheesecake Factory.
11. The lyrics "Truth: New watch alert, Hublot/Or the big face Rollie? I got two of those" can be used as black market currency in Eastern Europe.
12. We just took out a second mortgage to enjoy it for all eternity.
13. Must utter the phrase, "Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon*?" whilst listening. (*Not to be confused with Groupon. No. Never that.)
14. It's the first song that comes with its own Waldorf Astoria concierge.
15. Our great great great great grand children will inherit the debt of us listening to it... once.