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J-Zone’s Tim Dog Appreciation Post.

Continued from previous page.

#timdogquotables “She wanted me to pee in her face (So what did you do?) I pissed in her face”
From “Secret Fantasies”. Bladder relief. It’s just that simple. Really.

#timdogquotables “Imma wax his ass, Imma tax his ass, Imma fax his ass, and cold lax his ass”
From “You Ain’t Shit”. The said ass is in a heap of trouble.

#timdogquotables “Wax that ass Imma wax that ass. Wax that ass Imma wax that ass. Wax that ass Imma wax that ass Ill wax anybody”
From “I’ll Wax Anybody”. Guard your ass, it might get waxed.

#timdogquotables “Imma blast that nigga, Imma shoot that nigga, Imma smoke that nigga, Imma do that nigga”
From “Bronx Nigga”. I’m noticing a pattern here – niggas and asses meet their fates on Tim Dog records.

#timdogquotables “All you muthafuckas walkin around, wearing polka dots, your shit is wack, I’ll tell you to your face!”
From “I Ain’t Havin’ It”. Looking at rap today, Kwamé was eons ahead of his time as well. But back then, the dotted one was in the cross-hairs of Mr. Dog.

#timdogquotables “Rap is nothing you can put in a movie with a bunch of turtles!”
From “I Ain’t Havin’ It”. I always thought Donatello was a bitch ass nigga.

#timdogquotables “Rappers like Kid-N-Play, rappers like Kwamé, rappers like Young MC with nothin to say.”
From “You Ain’t Shit”. The “who do you think he was dissing?” debate never came up with Tim Dog. Ever.

#timdogquotables “Take a nigga like MC Hammer. A wack ass rapper, but a dope ass dancer.”
From “You Ain’t Shit”. Even hard rappers appreciated dancers back then.

#timdogquotables “Im just a myth/To riff/The gift/The if/The fifth/The shift/The spliff is in control… (etc.) WHEW & Im still too great”
From “Fuck Compton”. Huh? I guess this could be a facsimile of an inebriated Big Daddy Kane freestyle, which is a good thing.

#timdogquotables “The short one, you know the one with the fat ass? Oops! They all have a fat ass”
From “Secret Fantasies”. My observations exactly; En Vogue gets dicked down backstage on Soul Train.

#timdogquotables “Cause I’m Tim Dog babybaby Tim Dog babybaby Tim Dog babybaby Tim Dog babybaby Tim Dog babybaby Tim Dog! I’m Tim Dog!”
From “Dog’s Gonna Getcha”. It is Tim Dog. It really is.

#timdogquotables “Dropped the bitch at the train, threw her a token, said forget my name.”
From “Bronx Nigga”. Metrocards for the classy broads; Tokens for the hoodrats.

#timdogquotables “Aaarrggh! I cant believe how dope I am, Im the mufuckin man, slappin MCs with 1 hand. Dont cry ya little bitch! Be a man!”
From “Dog’s Gonna Getcha”. Real men don’t cry. Especially after being slapped with one hand.

#timdogquotables “And I stoled ya muthafuckin beat and made it better, to show the whole world that yall aint nuthin but a buncha pussies!”
From “Intro”. I told my ninth grade English teacher that “stoled” was a real word. He didn’t believe me.

#timdogquotables “Here comes a big nigga named Bruce. Oh shit. What am I to do?”
From “Goin Wild In The Penile”. For all with Twitter access in a holding cell.

Tim’s sophomore effort, Do or Die, also featured some Twitter-friendly lines, but many of them entered the “double whoa” zone. Example:

#timdogquotables “Because I’ll fuck you in the ass til its covered with shit. Yea boy Im a freak. If we was up north you be callin me big Zeke”
From “I Don’t Give a Fuck”. Ummmmmmmm… yeah.

I could delve into the never-ending replay value of the skits, but I did that last year (click here).

In summation, Penicillin On Wax is just as entertaining as it was 20 years ago. Considering that NYC became Disney World in the interim, the album’s spot in New York rap history is cemented firmly and its content is irreplaceable. It was also light years ahead of its time – personality taking the front seat over actual lyrical skill was a concept lost around these parts in 1991. Salute.

Bonus Tweet:

#timdogquotables “She took it in the butt hole; she took it quite well.”
From “Secret Fantasies”. Is that a fact?