1. J-Zone Presents… Tim Dog’s Official Online Dating Profile.

    I know. I’ve been unusually quiet about all this Tim Dog pimpin’ ponzi scheme stuff . The RTs; the @jzonedonttweet alerts with links attached; the e-mails; the phone calls from my father (seriously); the texts; the comments on the Facebook wall – I really didn’t know what to say. Half of me was sad that this could be a gruesome foreshadowing of the future of so many Golden Era rappers who were born to make a living via entertainment or the hustle, with no gray area in between. Half of me was thoroughly entertained at the thought of the creator of my favorite rap album of all time living up to his self-dubbed moniker of the “Patriotic Pimp” and getting some TV time on NBC’s Dateline . (No doubt the most he’s had since “Fuck Compton” came out.) What’s more American than scheming a wide and fried heifer out of some cash? But the real question I have heading into the Friday night special on Dateline is this: What the hell does his dating profile look like? Is he an OK Cupid Guy? A Match.com dude with the gumption to spend money to make money? Maybe plentyoffish.com is more his speed. Who knows? Let’s just say hypothetically that Tim Dog’s pimpin’ playground is OK Cupid. This is how I envisioned his dating profile…


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