1. J-Zone: Pay Phone Pimpin' (VIDEO).

    J-Zone: Pay Phone Pimpin’ (VIDEO).

    There's nothing softer than an adult engaged in an hour-long text conversation. Especially when it's a man attempting to gauge if he's in line to get some drawers from the woman he's texting. That shit is downright disgusting; nigga, put some bass in your voice. In the days of Pay Phone Pimpin' none of this fruitcake shit was happening. Yes, pay phones. Call that broad up. You'll know where the fuck you stand in four minutes (five if you have an extra nickel to extend the time). To my chagrin, pay phones are slowly going the way of the quetzalcoatlus and so is straight-to-the-point communication.

    I'm not going to write a dissertation on this ho-like, text-a-broad-all-day behavior and why we need to bring back pay phones - you can find that in my upcoming book, Root for the Villain: Rap, Bullshit, and a Celebration of Failure - but I did shoot a short film clip about why Pay Phone Pimpin' is an absolute must in this day of quasi-communication and showcase how I handled Pay Phone Pimpin' in the early '90s. Find that video and a bullet-pointed list of why Pay Phone Pimpin' must return to our daily lives below.

    Pay Phone Pimpin' is the shit because:

    - Superman didn't change outfits at a T-Mobile store.

    - you can't text Ghostbusters.

    - you can't receive an LOL from a pay phone. Or a smiley face; Or a wink; Or a FWD; Or any of that other fructose fruitiness. Not unless you own a pager. If you still own a pager, you're exempt from all of this.

    - you had to convince the broad to come outside in a matter of minutes. Cutting to the chase improved your mack tactics tenfold. Especially if you were fresh out of change and there was a muthafucka waiting to use the phone after you.

    - conversation is more valuable when you're paying for it by the minute.

    Video: J-Zone - Pay Phone Pimpin . Dial tone on a bitch.

  2. You might wanna peep...

    • Tim Burton

      Great post. Where did J-Zone get that t-shrit...I need one of those.

    • http://govillaingo.com J-Zone

      Someone got the shirt for me in London. Never seen it in the states.

    • GoodWilHustlin'

      Word around the street is, not only are these babies almost extinct, you also gotta worry about them functioning in the first place. Shits be gankin' change and no dial tone...plus you already know the next one is miles up the street. Hopefully demand increases after this post though.

    • M

      get it with cheese!

      can't wait for that book Zone!

    • http://govillaingo.com J-Zone

      Funny you say that. Remember when you could call a pay phone from another line so the person wouldn't have to spend all their money and could talk unlimited? Not anymore. I tried to call the pay phone from my cel and got a fax signal. Guess too many cats tied them shits up. I used to do that shit. "Yo man here's the # of the pay phone, call me back yo!" Haha.

    • GoodWilHustlin'

      Hahaha I remember that shit up until about 6 years ago, they even had the phone number posted above the number pad. Otherwise, you would hope they had called ID so they could hit you back up. I'm sure some fooos stayed posted by phones making deals and whatnot.

    • T man

      Hey J-Zone! Nice read..kinda in a situation wif this chick..she does the LOL,smiley face,OMG ish all day looooooong and its driving me berserk!! I just wanna take her out and break her off something proper nahmean and she be dragging like a further-Mucker. Damn!!! no "lol". haha

    • http://govillaingo.com J-Zone

      Tell her to pay you 15 cents per text or give you some head. One or the other... or get lost!

    • http://www.youtube.com/distrakt DISTRAKT

      Now thats that ish "Pay Phone Pimpin"!!!!!
      The pay phone on my block is like a dollar now crazy!

    • http://govillaingo.com J-Zone

      D, they're a dollar by you? Where you at, still in Colorado? They're still a quarter in Queens, but I think they're 50 cents in Manhattan.

    • http://www.youtube.com/distrakt DISTRAKT

      Yeah my brotha a buck! Still in Colorado working it out indeed.