The NBA All-Star Game goes down this weekend. Can you feel the excitement? You can’t? That’s because, like every year, the game is a boring-ass showcase for the same old players voted in every year by unimaginative fans. Here in egotripland, where everything’s racial, we’re convinced that there’s a far more interesting way to pick a squad – one that more accurately reflects the diversity of the league, and the world. So without further ado we present ego trip’s Mixed Race NBA All-Stars. (Biracial ballin’ outta control, baby!)
Check out this olive-hued 8-playa rotation…
Deron Williams (PG, Utah Jazz)
Black or White? Playmaker or scorer? Like ‘Hov and Kells dueting, Williams is the best of both worlds, making him one of the league’s most dynamic players. In fact, the only flaw in D-Will’s game may be his overly strong will (he is light-skinded, you know, and traditionally light-skinded = mo’ militant than a muhfuh), which is rumored to have been what forced out long-time Jazz coach Jerry Sloan.
Stephen Curry (SG, Golden State Warriors)
The golden child of former NBA pro Dell Curry and former collegiate volleyball star/MILF goddess Sonya Curry , this baby-faced sharpshooter has a game to match his racial make-up: tough for opponents to pin down.
Blake Griffin (PF, Los Angeles Clippers)
The most exciting player in the NBA has kept L.A.’s other team (a/k/a “The Blakers”) relevant thanks to his uncanny combo of White dude hustle and Black dude hops. This despite the fact that he’s admitted in this insightful interview that being half-White could have been a serious hindrance to his NBA success.
Carmelo Anthony (SF, Denver Nuggets)
One of the game’s perennial superstars, Anthony’s kept Denver in the playoff hunt despite the ongoing distraction of his possible trade status. Should Melo stay or should Melo go? Typical internal conflict for a mixed dude (Latin/African-American) trying to figure out where he belongs.
Joakim Noah (C, Chicago Bulls)
The player you love to hate (but would love to have on your team), Noah can appear to labor like Sam Bowie 3.0 one moment, then throw ‘bows and protect the rim with the best of ’em the next. Biracial badness personified. Plus, he knows how to party.
And of course, we can’t forget the RESERVES…