Words: Rock A. Party
Originally published in ego trip #8 , 1996
Kool Keith and Tim Dog are number one. In fact, yo, they’re permanent one. But y’all must already know that. Actually, maybe a couple of you new Jack/Jill-dills-nill-pseudo-hip-hop-jockeys don’t know the resume or the discography connected with these two vintage rhyme-sayers. Attention all the stupid-asses: next time y’all step to the beat-brary (where they bury the beats), check out the Ultramagnetic MC’s’ classic LP, Critical Beatdown , and Tim Dog’s killah dolo full-length, Penicillin On Wax . I don’t want to hear shit from any of y’all St. Ides-fruit-punch-sippin’-suckers until y’all have done what the fuck I’ve just said for y’all to do.
Ease back. Tim and Keith got their own label (Our Turn Records) and various solo projects (Keith has the Dr. Octagon thing out and a solo Kool Keith album on the way; Tim’s got a new solo joint comin’ soon as well). And then there’s Ultra – a new musical collaboration born from the ashes of the Ultramagnetic MC’s – which features said lyric-driven dynamic duo.
Here on these blessed pages, Tim and Keith – via raw dog conversationalisms – educate and civilize you, the truly uncivilized. They’ve invented everything that the rap game has to offer, and they’re not afraid to let you know it. If you actually do know the steez, then please, try to help others – those obviously less fortunate than yourself – to understand the sciences behind Keith and Tim’s illmatic dynasty. Show these true-school-legend-type niggas some love. God bless ya life.
New Day, New Age, New Drum.
Tim Dog : Me and Keith did an album together and a lot of niggas wanted to see it. We’re going back to lyrics and we’re touching on getting’ money with lyrical barrages. And we’re not on that space shit no more. That “magnetic” shit is dead.
Kool Keith : That’s old shit. But that’s the way we’ve been for years – the opposite of the next motherfucker. We’re not sampling the same pussy loop that sounds like it’s gotta be sweet. We went out and found old Moogs and Rolands. We don’t use stagnant, bullshit equipment. We don’t go looking for fucking beats all day in the hot weather. I make my own funk shit. I want niggas to fuckin’ sample me like Roger Troutman. Motherfuckers couldn’t fuck with the Octagon shit because they were jealous of the advanced, Mercedes Benz production of it.
Why The Music Industry, As An Orifice, Is Very Mean.
Tim Dog : Magazines claim they’re keeping it real, but they’re just political. If you claim to be a magazine that deals with “music, hip-hop and politics,” you should just say, “politics.” Just say, “We only give you the cover if you sold five million.” Don’t have people thinking you’re really interviewing artists because you love them. I ain’t gonna tell no girl, “Hey, let’s fuck,” based on whether or not I like her or don’t like her. If I don’t like her, I don’t wanna fuck.
Kool Keith : Even DJs got politics. There’s so many DJs in New York that I wanna punch ’em in the fuckin’ face. I’m-a just walk up on ’em and like punch ’em in the fuckin’ face.
Tim Dog : Niggas ain’t fuckin’ with us. [But now] niggas ain’t really gonna ever have to worry about no fake-ass A&R motherfucker sortin’ out shit, trying to get the label not to really put up the money that we need to promote our shit. We got our own label now.
Kool Keith : That major shit is all like a fuckin’ set up. That shit’ll have you in debt for fuckin’ life. Niggas think posters are fuckin’ free. All that shit is fuckin’ coming out of they own fuckin’ pocket.
Tim Dog : It’s like a pimp. It’s like a pimp buying his bitch some clothes – but then he sends her right back on the corner to sell some ass. You don’t let her hold the money, you just go buy her something to wear, buy her some chicken at Kentucky Fried, take her to a hotel, wash her face, and fuckin’ put her back on the street.
Kool Keith : A nigga like Master P sells 200,000 records – that’s a fuckin’ million dollars in his fuckin’ pocket. He ain’t gotta give it to nobody. Think about it: if you sell a million [for some label], the next man – the owner – makes ten million.
Tim Dog : You go through drama with all these major conglomerates. This is slave trading at the highest level. Major labels, they run an institution of high-tech slavery. It took me a year-and-a-half to get off Columbia. People just thought I wasn’t coming out with an album. And they thought I was gonna be a Toby, a good boy – a good ol’ boy going out to the fields and work and trust master. But I was Kunta Kinte. People gotta realize – these fuckin’ labels don’t give a fuck about you.
California Loves Titty Bars.
Kool Keith : I was on Fordham Road [in the Bronx] the other day, and [the girls] looked so nasty: stomachs and guts hanging out with tight pants. Stretch marks is the big thing. I seen some singing bitches out there with their guts all fucking dropping to the floor. That’s why I like Cali. Everybody’s gettin’ their stomachs flat. Girls puttin’ on stuff that fits correctly. That’s why motherfuckers go to go-go spots. I wanna see a nice trim woman with a nice hourglass shape with some high heels dancing in my face with a nice thong on. Women today want to dress like a nigga. They wanna wear jeans and have a fuckin’ backpack.