Bankers and hotels maids – the ugly saga continues. As many of you know a few weeks ago former International Monetary Fund Chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn was charged with sexually assaulting a maid at a Manhattan hotel. This morning the news broke that the former chairman of one of Egypt’s major banks is awaiting arraignment on charges he sexually abused a maid at a Manhattan hotel. We’re not quite sure what the hell is going on with all these international money men who can’t keep their horn-dog hands to themselves long enough to get through a simple continental breakfast. But there’s gotta be some reasonable explanation for this illicit behavior, right?
10 perfectly acceptable excuses like…
1. Soap in eyes, thought he was reaching for towel.
2. Accidentally fell on top of her while fumbling for the card that says, “Place this on your bed if you want to save our environment.”
3. Misheard R. Kelly song lyric “After the hotel lobby it’s the after party” as “After the lobby it’s the maid abduction.”
4. Afflicted with “body tourettes,” couldn’t help himself.
5. Delirious from watching this over and over.
6. “All those chocolates she left on my pillow… she totally wanted me.”
7. Weird old rich person fetish: turned on beyond belief by people who actually work for a living.
8. Listening to too much OFWGKTA. (The rapey rap made him do it.)
9. Like they say: No romance without finance! (Rhymes with, “dance in my pants.”)
10. Tired of screwing over world’s population at once. Now concentrating on doing it one helpless victim at a time.