1. 20 Common vs. Drake Diss Songs We Are Waiting For.

    It’s been a sad past few days in hip-hop. Sad because it’s come to light that two of the most civilized gentlemen in rap – Common and Drake – have beef. Oh, lordy – why, rap – WHY?!? Apparently, after catching wind of Common calling out unnamed softees on his song “Sweet” (off his just released The Dreamer, The Believer ), Drake – sensitive fella that he is – took offense. His producer, Noah “40” Shebib, tweeted a few salty rebuttals (because tweeting salty rebuttals is almost like doing a driveby in rap circa 2011), and now luxury hotel spas ain’t safe no more. True to the tony public personae of those involved, some reports have chalked up this whole thing to a love triangle involving a certain four-time Wimbledon champion . But if a Lonnie vs. Aubrey conflict is to truly transcend civility and become a rap spat worth a damn there’s gotta be diss records. Here are the imagined song titles of a few we’d like to see.

    1. “Sweaters Ain’t Shit”

    2. “Hairlines”

    3. “No Emo”

    4. “Over My Insulted Body”

    5. “Touchy Feely N*gga”

    6. “Super Ugly (But Beautiful On the Inside)”

    7. “Canadian H.A.M.”

    8. “The Makeover”

    9. “Degrassi Knoll”

    10. “Fuck Wit’ Aubrey Day (And Everybody’s Celebratin’)”

    11. “N*ggas In Serena (Serena’s Room)”

    12. “Tissues”

    13. “I Used To Fuck H.E.R.”

    14. “No Vagisil”

    15. “The Electric Circus Experience Shower”

    16. “Pop’s Rap 4… The Scolding”

    17. “One Day It’ll All Make Scents (Lavender Mist)”

    18. “Manicured Nail In the Coffin”

    19. “We See The Bitch In Each Other”

    20. “You Say Aubrey, I Say Lonnie, Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off”


    And just in case you haven’t yet seen Common’s “Sweet” video – in which he really does seem pretty peeved…


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